What else is new?

I'm feeling like myself again, and I couldn't be happier about it. Whenever I have bad days, I have to have faith that everything will click back into place again.

But is it enough to just be feeling good now? Chezjulie made a very helpful comment after I posted about my poor habits of late:

So what was different this past week? Did you plan? Did you have some special events crop up? Did you stop tracking? Were you stressed?

There's got to be reasons why one week is so different from the next. Or do you think you're just getting bored with making the effort (honeymoon period's over?) or scared of getting to goal?

I definitely need to ask myself why I go so far off-track. I don't see a problem with having the occasional day where I go over points or skip a workout. But my recent trend of big gains followed by big losses just shows how erratic my eating has been (note: I'm never UNDER-eating, just over-eating like crazy, then eating healthfully).

I came up with some possible reasons that I have been self-sabotaging (many of chezjulie's points are right on the mark!):

• Afraid to lose more weight/get to goal. I've been in the same weight range (between 190-200 pounds--right now I'm in the mid to high 180's) for almost a year. I'm comfortable where I am, people keep complimenting me on how great I look, and I've accumulated some new clothes that fit me well. Maybe, deep down, I'm afraid of more change?

• Not always getting enough sleep. When I am tired, I get cranky and emotional. The littlest thing can have me in tears. In this state, I'm liable to eat anything and everything instead of just GOING TO BED. I have to wake up around 5:30 or 5:45 a.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays for work, which is really tough--especially because I don't wake up that early every morning, so my body is not used to it.

• Lack of routine. Last week, I was off from work, and I had friends visit over the weekend (one friend stayed all weekend). Obviously, it was wonderful seeing my friends, but it threw my usual routine out of whack. Now, the friend who stayed with me knows I am on Weight Watchers, and is extremely supportive. She always suggested we cook instead of going out, and even took the Points quiz for herself and half-considered tracking along with me (she is AWESOME). Of course, because I was so hellbent on self-sabotaging, I insisted on going out for meals/ordering pizza/not exercising way too often throughout the weekend.

• Giving myself permission to overeat for any reason I could think of. As you can see, when my friend was visiting, I had even MORE incentive to eat well. She did not pressure me to eat badly at all. But because I had a friend visiting and I put myself in FUN CELEBRATION MODE, I gave myself permission to go off-plan. And I did. And once I go off-plan, I always know I will be back on plan soon. This is good and bad: while I am "allowed" to, I eat as much junk as I can because I won't be able to eat it again soon. It's like a switch in my brain is flipped. Somehow I have to train myself to just do everything moderately all the time, instead of having these two extremes.

• Not enough me-time. I need to have some time to myself to regroup, look through recipe books, make grocery lists, and things like that. Despite being off of work last week, I did not have much time to myself. Sometimes, when I'm stressed out and have not planned any non-food treats or me-time, I get through the day by thinking of what delicious thing I can eat next. It goes something like this: I'm not having a very good day. I need something to look forward to. Hmmm, what can I eat? Then I think of all the delicious possibilities (that are not even really that delicious, to be honest) and cram as many of them in as possible. If my day is full of enough things that I enjoy (or healthy delicious food to look forward to), I won't fall into this trap.

These are all definitely things that I can work on. I know I also have some more soul-searching to do (and I will).

So, enough of the analysis! What have I been up to these past few days? How did I get back on plan? (I know you're all DYING to find out...)

Well, while my friend was visiting, we got haircuts!

Before (Ugh!):

After (Hott!):

Aside from the haircut, I also got some me-time in the form of shopping therapy. I picked up a couple of new books I've been hankering for: Mindless Eating: Why We Eat More Than We Think by Brian Wansink, and Eat, Shrink & Be Merry! by Janet & Greta Podleski:

Last night, I got some healthy groceries to get me through the rest of this week:

Since Wednesday morning (when I got back on track), I have been focusing on filling foods and drinking water like it's going out of style (I'm trying my best to salvage Saturday morning's weigh-in)!

Today I actually got my butt out the door for a run! I realized it was March Break and that the outdoor track at a high school near my house would be free of teenagers.

But when I got to the track, there was a man there... not running (which I could have dealt with)... but golfing! I had no desire to be struck by a golf ball, so I moved on to jog on the street. I tried a new route than usual, and found another high school with a track a few blocks away! It first appeared to be impenetrable, but I found an entrance off a parking lot. Success!

After running for 30 minutes, I walked home... and did 20 minutes of strength training! Wahoo!

Sweaty & disheveled, but still damn cute!

Now I'm drinking a green smoothie and basking in that self-righteous "I just exercised" feeling.

Aaaaaaah, it feels good to be back! :)